


Avengers: Age of... Tesseroki?

by worstloki



Series: MCU-films but as Tesseroki One-Shots [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Loki (Marvel), BAMF Loki (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Ironhusbands, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki just wants hugs, Tesseract, The Tesseract (Marvel), because why not, just a tad bit, just loki and the tesseract being friends and chilling, mind your own business thor, tesseroki - Freeform, thor's questions about loki's love life are irrelevant, tony/rhodey - Freeform, watch as i replace wandavision with tesseroki, well it's not explicit but it's implied, why can't you just be happy for the couple thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28240248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstloki/pseuds/worstloki
Summary: what if... instead of the mind stone/Vision Earth kept the space stone and brought the Tesseract to life and gave them a body instead... and Loki and the Tesseract were a couple...... haha jk........ unless....?
Relationships: Loki & Tesseract, Loki/Tesseract, Loki/Tesseract (Marvel), Tesseroki
Series: MCU-films but as Tesseroki One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069874
Comments: 29
Kudos: 124
Collections: Loki/Infinity Stones, Tesseroki Fics





	Avengers: Age of... Tesseroki?

**Author's Note:**

> based off [ This Here ](https://slashercatz.tumblr.com/post/634492730953859072/au-where-thor-and-his-dad-took-the-mind-stone-not) tumblr post ;)

“This framework is not compatible,” Tony states, without looking away from the screen he’s inputting code into.

“The genetic coding towers at ninety seven percent…” Bruce argues, taking off his glasses, because that’s how you emphasize things gravely. “You have _got_ to upload that schematic in the next three minutes.”

Bruce moves around the Cradle and checks to make sure all the wires are in correctly. They only get one shot at this, and they’ve got to make sure nothing unexpectedly goes wrong like last time. 

Steve’s voice suddenly breaks into the room, and both Tony and Bruce look up from what they’re doing to see Steve in full star-spangled spandex, standing in the doorway, with the Maximoff twins behind him. “I’m gonna say this once.” 

Tony makes a face. They don’t have time for this. 

“How about nonce,” he quips, in an attempt to de-escalate what is clearly going to devolve into A Situation. 

“Shut it down!” Steve commands, in a Captain voice that sounds severely under-informed and not practiced anywhere near enough. Which makes sense considering how he jumped military ranks.

“Nope,” Tony says. “Not gonna happen.” 

Steve looks around, noting the wires and screens scattered all around the room. 

He doesn’t know what they’re doing. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Steve accuses.

“And _you_ do?” Bruce asks, pointing to Wanda behind Steve, “ _She’s_ not in your head?”

“I know you’re angry…” Wanda says, stepping out from behind Steve, hands up in a placating gesture.

“Oh we’re way past that,” Bruce swallows, and looks her in the eyes, “I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.”

Wanda closes her mouth, allowing Steve to protest on her behalf. “Banner, after everything that’s happened—”

“That’s nothing compared to what’s coming,” Tony interrupts, aware of their time limit on the Cradle.

“You don’t know what’s in there—” Wanda bursts, referring to the stone within the Cradle.

“This isn’t a game—” Steve adds, helpfully.

“The _creature_ —” Wanda starts, but Pietro, tired of this slow conversation, merely rolls his eyes before running around the room and messing with the wires and throwing notes that look like they’re important around.

“No, no, go on,” Pietro says, confident that he has just solved the problem. “You were saying?” 

Or so he thought. 

A bullet flies upwards, through the glass Pietro has stopped on, cracking the glass and making him fall through the floor, landing next to Hawkeye below. 

“Pietro!” Wanda screams, belatedly. 

“What, you didn’t see that coming?” Clint smirks at the fallen runner.

Above, a notice appears on the Cradle’s screen and it beeps. Power Loss: CRITICAL. 

“I’m rerouting the upload,” Tony says, rushing to the monitor to try and undo the damage that Pietro has done. The last thing they need is another uncontrolled AI going rogue because uploading the code unexpectedly messed up. 

Seeing Tony move, Steve throws his shield, and it bounces around the room, inducing sparks from many of the electronic devices. 

By the time it rebounds back to him, Tony knows it has officially turned into A Situation and a gauntlet has flown to him and he’s fired at Steve, knocking him backwards. The backpiece of his suit hits into him and attaches to Tony too, and the rest of the suit is on it’s way.

Bruce takes the opportunity of her distraction to twist one of Wanda’s hands behind her back, and puts her in a basic choke-hold. “Go ahead, p*ss me off,” he tells her. 

Steve gets back on his feet and jumps towards Tony, trying to land a punch in his face, but Tony fires from his arc reactor, and since most of the suit is still missing, including the lower-body stabilisers, both he and Steve get pushed away from each other. 

Wanda uses her free hand to magically blast Bruce backwards, and, out of the chokehold, turns and fires red magic at Bruce's stomach and head. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Thor rushes into the room, and leaps onto the Cradle. Wanda turns in time to catch him lift his hammer over his head, summoning electricity as he does so, and then bring it down onto the Cradle. Someone screams in an attempt to get Thor to stop, but it’s too late; he was given a vision, and he intends to fulfill it for the safety and betterment of the realms.

The notice on the Cradle’s screen beeps and changes. Warning: Power Overload 

Everyone stares in mute shock, and in some cases, confusion, as Thor’s instant indoors electricity allows the upload of software to complete. 

When Thor is done, the force of the Cradle cracking open throws Thor off of it, and as the smoke accumulates from the machine, a body rises, kneeling.

The humanoid android is a dull dark blue with silver overlay outlining the pulsing blue gem in its forehead. It lifts its head to look around, and then rises, and, upon seeing Thor, pauses as if to consider him. Without warning the figure leaps at Thor, only to be deflected by his angle and thrown through a glass sheet. It abruptly stops before hurtling out the tower window. It looks out into the world to get its bearings and as it stares at its reflection comprehending itself and the lights of the city below, everyone takes the opportunity to group together behind it cautiously. 

It almost presses a hand to the glass but pulls away before their fingers touch it. 

“I am sorry,” it starts. “That was… odd…”

“Thank you,” Thor says, smiling stupidly.

“Thor,” Steve says, betrayed tinting his voice. “You helped create this?”

“I had a vision,” he explains, as if electrocuting yourself in a cave pool and seeing things is a profoundly unique and telling prophetic experience. “A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at its center is _that_.” 

“What, the gem?” Bruce asks, skeptical. There are no end times coming, they’re going to defeat Ultron and celebrate the continuation of life. Right?

“It’s the space stone, one of six Infinity Stones, the greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.”  
  
“Then why would you bring it to—” Steve starts.

“Because Stark is right,” Thor states, making Steve frown. 

The android looks between them with mild confusion. They recognize parts of these people of course, but really don't understand what all the fuss is about nor do they particularly feel inclined towards the one in the red cape. 

“Where…” they haphazardly ask, in the silence that follows Thor’s statement, “Is Loki?”

Heads turn to acknowledge them. 

“Oh, it’s definitely the end times,” Bruce says, wholly convinced that end times are coming now that the second words of the AI are clearly proof of it being another rogue. 

“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron...” Thor says, ignoring his vision's question, and instead looking at the android body in the hope that he will help them in their quest.

Thor looks to the android expectantly, hoping for an affirmation that they will help defend the Earth, that they will be the solution to their plight. 

“Where is Loki,” the android asks, again, slight confusion now tinting their voice.

Steve turns towards Thor. “Why does your vision sound like JARVIS? And why is it asking for Loki?”

Tony answers, still feeling the loss of JARVIS weighing down heavily on him, especially if it was for another AI robot that is apparently rogue and asking for the location of Thor’s genocidal brother. “We reconfigured JARVIS’ matrix to create something new—”

“I think I’ve had my fill of _new_ ,” Steve says, harshly.

Everyone eyes each other warily, unsure of how this could play out and what side everyone will take if it works out badly.

“You think I’m a child of Ultron,” the being concludes, looking between them.

“You’re not?” Steve pointedly asks, skeptical about what this could mean. Perhaps, despite the last minute disruption Tony and Bruce actually _did_ manage to create something that could protect the world and help them combat Ultron. Or perhaps this electric machine is just as bad; after all, it’s asking for _Loki_.

“I’m not Ultron. Or this JARVIS. I’m… the Tesseract…” they say, turning a dark blue hand over to better familiarize themselves with this new body. Noting the silver inlays, they will them to turn gold, and add a silver cape onto themselves, imitating Loki’s outfit last they interacted with him. 

The one in the red cape preens, probably thinking that they have tried to imitate him. _Fool_. 

Just because they can, they even redistribute their molecular structures to something more… _androgenous_ , for lack of a better word. 

“I’m sorry you’re _what_ —” Tony says. 

Steve glares at Tony as if to say _look what you’ve done! You’ve ruined a perfectly good space cube!_

“Tesseract,” they answer, with a face different to and a voice less deep than moments before. “And I want to be taken to Loki.”

“Their powers,” Thor jerks a finger in the direction of the Maximoff twins, “The horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Space Stone, and they're nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side…”

“Is it?” Steve questions— It seems rather presumptuous for Thor to be assuming what side the Red Skull’s tool is on— “Are you?” he asks, turning to the Tesseract.

Tesseract scrunches their face in confusion. 

“On our side?” Steve clarifies.

“I… don’t think it’s that simple…” The Tesseract explains. 

_Oh, great, another murder bot child of Tony’s,_ Steve thinks.

“There are never really any sides,” The Tesseract justifies itself, “and even if there were I don’t really think I’d want to take any...”

“But are you on the side of life?” Steve asks carefully, praying that the Android says yes.

“No,” Tesseract says instead, making everyone in the room freeze. “I guess I’m just on whichever side has Loki.”

If they were below zero before, everyone is subarctic now.

“Loki?” Thor exclaims, recovering first. “He’s dead!”

Tesseract’s head turns sharply, “He’s _what?_ ”

“He sacrificed his life to save mine on Svartalfheim many moons ago… I still mourn him to this day…”

Tesseract raises an eyebrow at Thor. He doesn’t _appear_ to be mourning very much. Either way, this _Thor_ knows where Loki could be, so he can help. Tesseract floats down towards Thor and calmly inquires as to Loki’s whereabouts. When Thor answers that Loki is dead, Tesseract merely laughs. 

“I request you please take me to your _Asgard_ , as I wish to meet with Loki again.”

Thor laughs nervously, and looks helplessly to the other Avengers. Tony shrugs, but the other Avengers seem to think it’s okay and give him a thumbs up. 

“Why don’t you, ahhhh,” Thor reaches into the deep wisdom of his one and a half millennia of life to achieve a solution in this scenario, “Fight for the side of life, for Earth, with us, and I shall grant you permission to meet with… _Loki…_ if that is still your wish upon our conclusion.”

Tesseract narrows their eyes at Thor. They give him a once-over. They give him an eyebrow raise. They are still unimpressed. But if this is the only way to get to Loki, so shall it be. They sigh and incline their head, graciously. “Very well, to your Ultron, and, then, to Loki.”

Tony’s eyes widen in alarm at that. The fact that an artificial intelligence is so eager to meet with Thor’s crazy brother who is dead, that they are additionally dead-set on the idea that they will certainly still want to see him later is not comforting. Did JARVIS really get sacrificed for _this?_

The Avengers file out to prep for battle, leaving Bruce and Tony to clean out the ruined tech room. 

‘Tesseract’ has also stuck around, and remains floating a foot above the ground as it (they?) slowly glide/s through the air towards them.

“How did you just—” Tony says, gesturing to their body.

“I reconfigured a cape from nothing, I can decide how else to present myself,” Tesseract snarks, as their head glows and short black hair appears too, which Tony does not expect from a ten-minute-old being, but that’s cool, he can roll with it, all his other botkids are sassy too. “Now, if you’d please get me connected to a hard drive database, I have an extra consciousness roaming around in my head.”

Tony heads towards some spare cables to see if any are undamaged enough to wire ‘Tesseract’ up. It makes sense for something to have gone wrong during the transfer considering what the shield and resident roadrunner did to the place.

“Extra consciousness?” Bruce repeats, “as in an evil voice in your head telling you to murder humanity, or…” 

“He’s calling himself JARVIS.”

Tony’s head whips around and he suddenly becomes twice as motivated to find that wire. 

“You’re not JARVIS? But we thought we combined the two matrixes to create you.” 

They sigh. “You cannot combine two minds within one space and expect both consciousnesses to survive the process, and why would you, if one consciousness is enough for a single body? The rest would be excess, such as this JARVIS. I _could_ simply erase him—“

“—NO!” Tony cries out. 

At the sudden raise in voice Tesseract flinches, disappearing in a puff of dark grey-blue smoke and appearing a metre from where they were seconds ago. 

“I mean,” Tony coughs, lowering his voice, “please don’t, I would appreciate my JARVIS back.”

Tesseract inclines their head, and stares at their hands, unsure of what they just did. They’re not really sure of their capabilities yet, and it would be good to find out what they are. “I did think that was what would be preferred.”

“Look at you,” Bruce exclaims. “Already fighting on the side of life!”

Bruce is just happy this robot only immediately tried to kill Thor. Honestly, Thor may have deserved it for earlier behaviour. 

“I’m only on the side of Loki.”

Bruce sighs. This is going to take some work. But these are desperate times and they’re going to need all the help they can get to take down Ultron.

  
  


———

  
  


The Avengers take down Ultron. 

It’s a team effort, and without Tesseract it wouldn’t have been possible. With an Infinity Stone in their forehead they have firepower at least equal to Tony’s repulsors and Thor’s lightning, and are a magnificent addition to the Avengers, although everyone agrees they would be much more liked if they did not keep asking after Loki every few minutes.

Pietro Maximoff was even saved from what could have been a disastrous situation where he was shot to death by bullets. 

But that would be ridiculous. 

His superpower is literally to run fast. it’d be crazy if not running fast enough was what killed him. 

That’d be lazy writing and make people feel cheated out of a beloved character for shock value. 

(It really wouldn’t even contribute to the narrative in any constructive way.)  
  
The Tesseract, who, through the battle, had gotten the chance to practice their teleporting, had retrieved Mr Maximoff, and Hawkeye, and a child, before that happened. They’d also teleported into Hulk’s quinjet and ensured it made it to the ground where he could be calmed down, because flying a ship into oblivion and turning up on a trash planet is a generally dodgy plot point.

The fight also enabled Tesseract to make use of the laser they can shoot from the gem in their head. And get used to the flying. And the super strength. 

Just because they were conscious as a cube doesn’t mean they are used to having limbs though, and every so often they will use the wrong one to try and do something.

For example, when the battle comes to a close, and the team decides to head to the shawarma joint down the road from Avengers Tower, and Tesseract says they’d rather be taken to Asgard to see Loki now, and Thor says he shall not follow through on what he promised, the Tesseract strikes Thor’s face with the back of their hand.

Thor is sent flying back and hits the ground hard. 

“I apologize,” they say, “I am not quite sure I heard you correctly.”

Thor lifts his head off the ground and looks up to see Tesseract standing before them. He takes it as a good sign that they are not floating anymore. 

“Loki is _dead_ ,” Thor says, bringing a hand to his face where he was hit. “And if he were not it would be impermissible treasonous to even think of taking anyone via Bifrost, let alone someone who wanted to meet Loki, let alone some _thing_ like—”

His pleading is cut off as the front of Tesseract’s boot collides with his face, sending him spinning through rubble in a deja-vu-inciting kick to the head. 

_Has_ he been hit in the head recently? Thor cannot recall, as the genderless intelligence slowly walks towards him, eyes glowing, their displeasure tangible.

The Avengers decide this is Thor’s burden to bear and slowly back into the quinjet. 

“We’ll just... get a roll packed for him...” Tony mumbles, as the jet’s door closes.  
  
Pietro waves the Tesseract good luck through the quinjet window as they take off. 

  
  


———

  
  


Thor hobbles into the throne room with a hand to his cheek but rights himself on his way towards the Allfather to make himself presentable. Odin sits on the throne and when Thor kneels he hits gungnir to the ground.

“Thor, my son—” he starts, before noticing the hand being held to his cheek. “—WhAT happened to your fACe?!”

“Father, the Avengers and I have vanquished a great evil with the assistance of a vision I had…”

Thor rises, keeping a hand over the reddened portion of his face, wincing as he applies weight to his injured leg. 

“...I come from a great battle on Midgard that has saved the realm, and I come with firm instructions to ‘at least attempt to seek Loki’ despite…” Thor’s voice fades out as he realizes Odin has paled a fraction at the mention of Loki. 

“Father?”

Odin tilts his head around and shifts his grip on Gungnir at being addressed. Thor does not like the idea forming in his head at the unseen signs of nervousness. Could it really be that Loki were... not dead? _Again?!_

“Father,” Thor says, voice low, static building around him, the pressure in the room dropping as he tries not to remember what he just went through only to suspect _this_ : “Does Loki live?” 

“No, no, of course not that would be silly— the signs of an overactive imagination—“ But Odin says it too fast, and Thor is already swinging his hammer in circles, sparks flying off his skin.

Thor’s voice is deep as he prepares to strike the throne. “I denied an Infinity Stone entry to Asgard for such lies from the Allfather himself—”

“—an Infinity Stone?!” Odin says, almost toppling off the throne. “Midgard has managed to draw out the consciousness of an _Infinity Stone?!_ And you’re only mentioning this _now?!”_ _  
_

Thor dampens down immediately. 

“Yes, and the Tesseract did not appreciate being barred from arriving here themselves,” he gets out through gritted teeth, free hand still over his red cheek; a reminder.

Odin turns on his condescending narrator voice. “Loki arrived here shortly after your unceremonious departure following the Dark Elf attack—”

“—he’s been _here_ a _YEAR?!_ ”

“—and he offered himself to take responsibility for your combined crimes.”  
  
Thor narrows his eyes. What crimes had he committed? Other than the treason, which Odin had been uncharacteristically neutral about… aaaannndddd that had been Loki hadn’t it. Dang it. Thor had thought he was getting better at seeing through illusions. 

“I wish to inform Loki of the situation.”  
  
“I will not stop you. But if I were proud of the deeds you have done today even that I could not—”

Thor turns towards the dungeon stairs and removes his face from his face to wave dismissively at the King. “Heard it before,” he says, and hopes that the mark on his cheek is not too distinct a hand shape.

  
  


———

  
  


“What happened to your face.” 

Thor groans. “We have not conversed in a _year_ , I only _just_ found out you still live, an Infinity Stone is _searching_ for you, and you speak as if we walk out of battles unmarked.” 

“No, no,” Loki goads, “that’s not from some _grand battle_ , it is very distinctly a hand shape, and now I’m curious.” 

Thor turns his face to the side, concealing the injury.

“Who has _backhanded_ the _mighty Son of Odin_ ,” Loki announces, dramatically, from where he lays on a chaise. 

“I am not here to make jest, Brother.” 

“Of course not!” Loki says, clapping his hands together and rolling off the couch to his feet. Thor notes that Loki barely looks like a prisoner; his hair is done, his garb is casual, he’s got furniture and books, and he even looks… healthy, so unlike the last time he had come to visit, although Thor hasn’t a hint as to why.

“Well, what is it this time? Surely the remaining dark elves haven’t resurfaced so soon? Or is it the Jotnar this time? Has some other millennia-old enemy attacked? Perhaps you need me to magic away your little boo boo? It does look like a rather good backhand with the way the bruising is developing...”

Thor keeps his face neutral to not give away his displeasure at the mockery. Loki may have saved his life and absolved him of punishment, but he hopes his brother knows that he will not hesitate to harm if he so much as smells a deception. “It’s the Space Stone.”

Loki’s imperious smile drops into something akin to confusion. “The Tesseract?”

But Thor knows Loki too well to believe it is actual confusion: Loki resorts to such an expression when an outcome he had hoped for but not expected arises. The only mystery to Thor is why Loki would possibly have been expecting the Space Stone. Or why the Stone would have asked after Loki to begin with. He had thought it was to enact a revenge for taking advantage of its power during New York years ago, but his hope in that explanation is diminishing. 

“Did you… bring them with you?” Loki asks, voice steady. 

“Of course not, it would be like bringing a goat to a banquet table, you know the rules.”

Loki hums. 

Thor understands it to be in agreement and takes the opportunity to keep talking. “Midgardian technology has drawn on the Gem’s consciousness, and is by no means advanced enough to understand the workings of such an artificial creature” —Thor’s head, turned to conceal his reddened cheek, does not take note of Loki’s concern morphing into anger, or the way he walks through the golden glow of his cell wall and approaches. 

“But I gave my word to it that it could come despite being completely unfitting and only came to Asgard at all because I knew you were dead, so I’m thinking of just going back now and not telling it you’re alive and how are you getting closer Broth—”

Thor’s head turns to face Loki just in time for Loki to backhand him. 

“Stop calling them an ‘it’. It’s rude, uncalled for, and doesn’t at all convey the respect I feel they deserve for dealing with you through an entire battle.”

He hums. “Also, ‘goat at a banquet table’? Really? How long did it take you to come up with that one?” 

Thor clutches his other cheek in agony. He holds both his cheeks from the pain, and Loki disapprovingly glances at his foot where the hammer was dropped. 

“So,” Loki says, since he doubts Thor will answer the earlier question, “to the Bifrost then?” 

“You hit me!”

“I remember, I was there.”

“You’re a criminal, Loki, and you are especially not allowed to travel such!” 

“So, no Bifrost then?”

“NO!”  
  
“Alright, I’ll see you on Midgard then.”  
  
Loki is gone in a poof of smoke. 

Not glittery green fog or a flash of light. Actual smoke. 

It’s black and Thor is still coughing as he angrily stomps back through the throne room and down and down the rainbow bridge towards the observatory. 

Odin doesn’t comment on how Thor has both hands cradling his face now.

  
  


———

  
  


The Avengers sit around the shawarma table, enjoying their rolls, talking about how the battle went, ignoring Tesseract who appeared in the room glowing and has been nervously practicing teleporting around the restaurant since. 

They’d said the jump from Sokovia to the store had been easy, and the overpowering infinite-strength and glow-teleporting wasn’t disconcerting in the least, but, to be fair, Tesseract had only been particularly hostile towards Thor so far, and they were the Space Stone after all, so no one is worried. They really don't see any risk of them going rogue, and most of them already fondly consider them a part of their Avenger-family.

Besides, this AI was totally working out better than Ultron, soon Thor would be back, he’d give Tesseract the news about Loki being dead, good ol’ Tessie would be resigned to join the Avengers, and Tony would be able to go home and use his beautiful butler child AI to review the beautiful footage of his beautiful new teleporting child teaching Thor a lesson… which he would be reviewing multiple times, solely for research purposes, of course.

“May I ask how long Thor’s travels typically take?” they inquire.

Tony swallows the bite in his mouth. “Sure, Tessie—”

“If you could refrain from calling me that.”  
  
“—sure, kiddo,” he responds, feeling slightly put out. That’s fine, he doesn’t _need_ to give the newest addition to his family a nickname. “The Bifrost takes half a minute both ways, but of what we know about Mr Allfather _he’s_ probably the hold-up, most likely using ye olde English to up his word count or somethi—”

“Right, I figured as much, thank you.”

Tony sighs. Dismissal hurts. And... they’re teleporting around the room again. Is this because they’re worried? For Loki? He sure hopes not, since the guy is dead. Then again, Thor allegedly thought his brother had died before too. This time, Jane Foster had also been there to witness the sacrifice, so it was confirmed. Although, perhaps if he had sacrificed himself he wasn't all bad? And why exactly _is_ Tesseract looking for him anyway? Before he can ask, Steve opens his mouth: “Hey, kid, what’re you doing?”

“If I can figure out how to cross realms I only get one shot at making it into Asgard’s dungeon, so, practice. And don’t call me ‘kid’, I’m older than you, and you’re not even a creator.”

Steve’s jaw drops and he is absolutely flabbergasted. The youth these days are ridiculously callous. 

Tony reads Steve’s expression as _'they’re still going on about Loki? Of all things?’_ and honestly he’s got to agree. This is borderline obsession. Their first coherent words were about Loki, they’re rejecting his cool nicknames and Tony is blaming Loki for that too, they decided to give themself a matching cape with Loki (and yes Tony picked up on that); Tony just can’t believe he’s losing his creation. And to _Loki_. They haven’t even met!

Tony nudges Bruce, who is nomming away at his meal. 

It doesn’t work, so Tony elbows him a bit harder. “ _Ow,_ _Tony_ , what is it? I’m a _bit busy_ here.”

“Why is my AI rejecting me for Loki,” he pouts to his Science Brother.

“How should _I_ know! I’m eating! Go ask _them! "_

 _"Ugh_ , _fiiiiine_ ,” Tony says, before calling Tesseract over and gesturing to the empty seat Rhodey left next to him when he went to the bathroom.

“Yes? What is it?” Tesseract says, taking the seat and impatiently tapping their foot.

“Why are you looking for Loki?”

Clint and Natasha pause their game of noughts-and-crosses-with-shredded-lettuce-slices to pay attention, and Steve makes the cut-throat gesture telling Tony to stop.

Tesseract open their mouth to explain, but their inability to string the words together to do so is clear as their expression shifts between confusion and affection and worry and endearment.

“He’s a friend,” they summarize.

“Since when?” Pietro pipes up to ask, through a mouth filled with his fifth shawarma, “y’all haven’t ever actually met since you only just got a body.”

“That’s not true, we’ve interacted in the past, when he was a child, before I was abandoned in a rock on Midgard. It was lovely, really, he has a lonely soul with so much to say and not one to listen and his mastery of magic was the most amazing thing even though he couldn’t ever see it. His need to do more than was expected and lie to even himself about his own experiences in an effort to prove himself was admirable, and although I am grateful as it resulted in setting time aside to keep me company, I am elated that he found it within himself to move on.”

“Good enough for me,” Pietro shrugs, continuing his nth shawarma roll.

“Me too,” Wanda smiles through her food.

“The Asgardians are, like, a thousand years old, I’m sure both of them have changed since they were kids…” Natasha reasons, trying to ease the truth in easily. Tony sends her a grateful smile; it won't be simple to tell Tesseract everything, as they clearly think highly of him. Tony tries not to think about the burden competing with Thor for the throne would've been in a warrior society, or the lies he had been telling himself, because both those hit close to home.

“Oh, definitely,” Tesseract nods, smirking proudly, “and Loki is all the better for it.”  
  
Tony winces at that. Poor Tesseract hasn’t heard about the genocidal tendencies. And they clearly care for him. It’s going to actually hurt them when they find out about it. And the fact that he’s dead. Yikes. He's not quite sure how they'll explain that the one they knew wasn't the same one who grew up and tried to conquer the planet to spite his brother.

“We also interacted thoroughly during the year SHIELD had attempted experimenting with me of course, and, as you would expect, Loki and I still simply fit together. How else would I be confident in his survival despite what the blonde idiot says? Or so willing to connect with him despite his acts on your lands and others? I know Loki, and Loki in turn knows me. We understand each other in a far more intimate way than thought or even action can describe, though I will try my best to do so with words as long as I may be given the privilege to. ”

Tony is not cut out for this. 

He’s not even really Tesseract’s Father. He doesn’t deserve to be. He’s not qualified for this! He, Tony Stark, Playboy Genius Billionaire Philanthropist, is a fake. Father to many beautiful bots, and he can’t even call himself ready for parenting. He's a phony! He just isn’t ready to give someone this talk. Their heart will be broken. How does he kindly let them down? Politely tell them that the Loki they know isn’t the real Loki that they’ve met. 

“Right,” he says, instead of giving out any useful response. He elbows Bruce, the technical other parent-contributor of this family. “Anything to say about that, Bruce?” 

Bruce’s mouth is filled with shawarma, so he doesn’t answer.

Instead of waiting for a response like a normal individual, Tesseract jumps to their feet, and steps up onto the table. They leap at the empty air and collide into— _oh_. 

It’s Loki. He just appeared on the table.

New York Loki just appeared on the table. 

_Dead_ Loki just appeared on the table. 

The Loki that Tesseract was pining after just appeared on the table. 

Tony is _not_ cut out for _this_.

"Loki!!!"

“Tess—“ Loki yelps in confusion and falls back upon impact, and Tesseract and he are sent toppling backwards off the table. 

They land with a solid _thump_ , as one would expect when an Infinite Being tackles someone.

They then both start laughing, as one expects slightly less.

Natasha scoffs and Clint sighs. Pietro and Wanda smile at the scene. Steve is coughing up his meal and Bruce just shrugs and then turns his face away to continue eating. 

Rhodey enters the room and sees the happy couple’s legs above the table, because even with his back flat on the ground both Loki and Tesseract are tall enough to Do That. And, yes, that irks Tony, but, really, it's only decent to want them to remove their shoes from the place where everyone is eating. “Are they fighting over a grape or something?”

Tony pretends not to show his irritation and imitates craning his neck to try and look over the table. He’s not actually tall enough to. 

“Just hugging,” Pietro fills in from the other side of the table. 

“It’s very sweet,” Wanda adds, taking a sip from her canned drink.

“You heard them Rhodey, Tesseract and Loki are _just hugging._ ”

“Tell me you did not just say _Loki.”_

Rhodey pauses, and receiving only silence, gestures to the two and continues. "I thought _he_ was _dead!_ And everyone is just _fine_ with whatever _that_ is?! That guy tried to _kill everyone!!"_

The _'and he nearly did!!'_ goes unsaid, but Tony still hears it. And Tony knows Rhodey is antsy because hearing he was thrown out the window got him a slap to the face and a hug the entire week after the invasion. and he doesn't like that Rhodey is freaking out and will explain it's not a big deal as long as the guy doesn't try to kill anyone again because they can't stop Tesseract doing anything because they beat up _Thor_ like a walk in the park, but for now Tony is busy remembering Rhodey's (and Pepper's) initial reactions to finding out he had been defenestrated, which was to slap him, apologize by kissing him (what? they've been close friends since college, Tony is a promiscuous raging bisexual, you think they haven't done that before?), and then yell at him about 'saying something like that casually with a smile on your face like it's an achievement to be thrown out the window!'. (The kisses hadn't been the reason he'd kept bringing it up even a week later... but it was totally the reason... not that Rhodey didn't figure that out, he knows Tony too well, and Pepper too.) 

“Can you all _please_ calm down, we are having a _moment_ here!” Tesseract says, rudely interrupting Tony's reminiscing, beaming as they carefully pull themself off Loki, a process which involves the placement of hands, elbows, and other similar limbs on soft places, if Loki's soft 'hey—' 'oof' 'don't—' and 'ow's are any indication. 

Tony frowns as he watches Tesseract get to their feet and blow a strand of hair off their face before offering Loki a hand. His frown gets more frowny when the criminal asks _may I?_ and Tesseract rolls their eyes fondly as Loki uses the hand to pull himself up and go in for another hug. 

There is a _whole team of Avengers_ _here_ and these two are _nuzzling their faces into each other’s hair._ The nerve! They’re also saying things in hushed tones and Tony is actually _grateful_ he can’t hear what they’re saying because they’re both squeezing each other in the hug and and holding each other’s hair and smiling about it and this entire situation is so _weird_ and _that_ is _his_ Infinity Stone creation and _Tony is not cut out for this!_

“You’re one of the most powerful beings on this entire planet! You can do better than _him!_ ” he screams, before he can think any better of it.

“Stark!” Wanda yells back, outraged, and half the table seems to share that opinion with how they’re glaring at him. Which makes _no_ sense.

“That’s true,” Loki concedes, leaving the hug but standing close to the android as if it would conceal the fact they’re holding hands behind their backs. 

This is sickening. Tony is doing all he can not to roll his eyes. 

Tesseract bumps their shoulder with Loki, “hey now, don’t say that, I have _great_ taste in people.” 

“You’re right, I would simply _hate_ to offend your _taste,_ ” Loki says with a small smirk.

“Just take the compliment, _Loki,"_ Tesseract replies, exasperated, the start of a smile gracing their lips.  
  
“I don’t remember rejecting it, _Tess_.”

Tony groans, interrupting whatever _that_ conversation is meant to be. “How come _he_ gets away with a nickname?!”

"It's Loki," Tesseract shrugs, before caring to elaborate. "He's a close friend."

“Awww, you called me a friend,” Loki says, somehow managing not to make it sound mocking; he says it genuinely as he looks to Tesseract and has got a sheen in his eyes and no _no_ no Tony is _not_ dealing with a crying Loki, that would be actual nightmare material. 

“One more time, sound off, what are we thinking about this," Tony says, hand to the bridge of his nose, just to make sure everyone is on the same page here.

“Tesseract deserves to be happy.”

“They can make their own decisions.”

“If anyone can handle Loki…”

“They’re cute.”

"Can't go rogue with us watching."

"I trust them to pick who they want."

“Both of them are smiling like idiots.”

“It’s true love.”

...Tony can't believe it.

I mean, sure, he can see that they clearly care for each other, but the Tesseract only just got a body! The idea that anyone would be unconditionally this entangled is… okay, it’s saccharine, but seriously, it’s _Loki_ , Tony isn’t going to trust this guy with _the Tesseract!_ What if he’s in this to use the power for some crazy scheme! Not that he doesn’t think the Tesseract can handle themself, but still! This dude attempted his hand at world domination mere years ago! How can Tesseract just trust him?

Tony takes a bite and chews frustratedly. 

The sound of the Bifrost hitting the pavement in the street is heard, and the room floods with light from the store window. Thor comes marching in, cheeks flushing a bright red with _two_ distinct hand marks on his face. _That’s new,_ Tony thinks.

“LOKI!” 

Loki takes a step away from and lets go of the Tesseract’s hand.

Well, that certainly explains the second imprint.

“Yes, Brother dear?” 

“Thor!” Tesseract says, pointing happily at Loki with a navy arm. “Thank you! for your cooperation!” 

Natasha raises the small remains of her shawarma wrap in acknowledgement. 

Everyone... is clearly warming up to Loki already.

“Loki is to return to his cell at once,” Thor announces.

(Well, nearly everyone.)

“Thor, you told me not long ago that Bifrost travel was restricted to me _especially_ , so, how exactly do you expect to take me back.”

And, because Tony is still going through the Acceptance Stage, he bitterly mumbles, “And how exactly do you expect to take him back with the Tesseract clinging to him.”

“What was that, Man of Iron?”  
  
“Nothing!”

Unfortunately, Asgardians must be born with super-hearing because Thor catches the gist.

“It—” The blood drains from Thor’s face, “— _They_ were doing _what?_ To _Loki?_ Why would _anyone—_ The Tesseract is an Infinity Gem— Loki is _Loki—_ He isn’t interested, he’s _never_ interested— no one is ever— it’s _Loki_ — who could want to—"

Tony takes a breath to calm himself down and realizes how bad it sounds laid out like that. He has decided to jump ship. Off or on is questionable.

He slams a fist on the table. “Enough naysaying, Jareth, you couldn’t stop them having a happy reunion and you sure aren’t going to stop the love _birds_ ” —he winks at Clint— “from staring into each other's heart-eyes with stupid fond smiles and whispering things to each other like they’re _literally doing right now._ ” 

Thor —bless his questionable skill with object permanence— lifts his hammer upon laying eyes on Loki and Tesseract who are otherwise preoccupied, and his eyes are about to start glowing with unshed lightning when a blur streaks across the room.

Thor spits out a mouthful of shawarma. 

“How _dare_ you—”

"Meep meep."

Another blur, and Thor is spitting out more shawarma. 

“I am the Son of—” 

The Son of... Spitting Shawarma, maybe? No one quite got what Thor was saying that time either. But his mouth is once again filled with Shawarma courtesy of the speedster in the room.

“He attacked your realm!”

A chorus of ‘we know!’s answers him. 

“But he hasn’t hurt anyone this time yet… and I don’t recommend trying to separate them…” Clint says, eyeing Thor’s bruising face and likely even worse ego. 

“If we can give _these two_ another chance, Loki deserves one too,” Steve acquiesces, and Wanda gives an open-mouthed smile and sticks her tongue out at Thor, displaying her chewed up food nicely. Pietro sticks his tongue out too, but without presenting chewed up food.

Thor’s face twists in disgust. “They are incapable of proper emotions! Loki has never sought this nor will it be acceptable or valid! The Tesseract is unable to decide on so little as a gender, how can this relationship be expected to work? Do they even have genitalia?!”

Tony cringes. “Thor, buddy, please, allow me to lay-man-term this: It is none of your business. It is _so_ none of your business, that I can't even begin to tell you how intrusive those questions are. And, also, your brother’s love life is really not an image I needed in my head.”

“I bet if Loki was a woman no one would be questioning this relationship,” Natasha scoffs. 

“A few toaster jokes, a few complaints about women in media being presented with less-than-human men with vice-versa being ridiculously rare, but that’d be about it,” Hawkeye adds. 

Rhodey’s face is in his hands and he’s chanting the word _no_ over and over, but he stops to contribute with “sounds homophobic.“

Tony barks a laugh and puts his free arm over Rhodey’s shoulder. 

Thor storms around the table and pulls Loki and Tesseract apart, like an absolute dolt. Tony... isn’t actually sure how someone could have that much idiot packed into them. That’s _Loki_ and _Tesseract_. One does not simply separate Loki and Tessie.

The small smile on Loki’s face drops to resignation —and Tony is trying not to think about how easily he recognizes the quick flit from personal experience— and then settles on annoyance, and he shoves Thor back out of the way, clearing the space between Tesseract and himself. 

Tesseract’s huff of laughter, interrupted mid-way by Thor, is replaced instantly with an angry growl, and they place a foot behind Thor’s knees just as he’s pushed. 

Thor pivots sharply at his knees and slams into the ground, breaking the stone tiles, leaving him stuck in a Thor-shaped dent in the floor. 

"WOO!" the twins whoop, and Natasha even mimes clapping. 

Yikes. That’s gotta hurt. How much of a power-couple they are can be left to consider another time. If Thor hadn’t choked him before, Tony might even feel bad for finding the callback funny. But he’s holding a teensy grudge, so he laughs, and so does Rhodey.

Thor, unconscious, makes a noise of pain, but at this point almost everyone is done with their meals and admiring Loki and Tesseract resting their foreheads against each other. Did they kiss? Did Tony miss it while laughing? Dang it. At least the room is quieter so the end of their conversation is audible all around. Not in a creepy way or anything, I mean, this is a _shawarma joint_ , so it's really on them for speaking at a volume that can be heard.

“You chose this face?” Loki asks, stroking a thumb across their cheek, taking the time to soak in all of their face, gold inlays on rich navy and all.

“Did you choose yours?” Tesseract jokes, trailing a finger up his face in turn, which is familiar but does not lessen their desire to absorb it.

“I love it,” Loki says, tracing the way their hair curls behind their ear. "I think it suits you very well." 

"Thank you," they respond, letting out a breath which conveys their gratitude but also their longing for the something familiar which they recognize in Loki. “I’m so glad you’re here."

“I missed you so much," Loki says, and then, moments later, lets out a huff of a laugh. "Your hair is very soft."

“I love you too,” Tesseract states, still taking in the sensation of being able to physically touch him. "And your lips are _too_ soft."

"Well, that's a stunning review if I've ever heard one, and your cheeks are by far far too soft too."

"Your ear isn't soft at all."

"Well, neither are yours, so we're even!" 

They both stand there, softly prodding at each other for a while, complementing the shade of blue, or criticizing with obvious good-will, and it's _so frickin' cute_ , until Loki pointedly eyes the direction of the table.

“They’re spying on us.” 

Tesseract laughs lightly. “I’m aware.”

“No privacy around here, I swear,” Loki says, feigning a tone of annoyance.

“That rhymed!” 

“I know,” he returns the smile.

“BOOOOooo!” Clint boos, “GET ON WITH IT!”

“Let them take their time, Hawkman,” Pietro says, wacking the back of his head. “Look what you’ve done! You ruined a perfectly cherishable moment!”

Tony agrees. The moment is gone now. It’s ruined. 

The couple clearly agrees because they’ve straightened up and decide to address the table of Avengers. 

“I apologize for my rather abrupt unexplained appearance, I was distracted,” Loki starts, hands folded neatly in front of him.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Tesseract stage-whispers. 

“I understand that my actions a few years ago may incur unease in some of you,” Loki continues, louder.

“You don’t need to apologize for that either,” Tesseract stage-whispers, louder.

“But I—”

And, what can Tony say, he’s getting fond. So what? Sue him. His lawyers are better anyway.

“Lokes, Lokmeister, Lokeman,” Tony cuts in, “you really don’t need to do this, and Thor is waking up, so maybe make it quick.”

“Ah,” —he wets his lips and uses his hand to list things off— “in that case, Tess and I are heading over to a beautiful library in Prague, stopping at the Khunjerab Pass for something to eat, and maybe we might pick one of the poles to star-gaze from, but I’ll be sure to return them to the compound by ten.”

Wait. _That’s not what he'd meant—_

“Bye!” Tesseract says, far too cheery for Tony’s comfort, and in a flash the two of them glow blue and are gone. 

The only sound in the room is of Thor gaining consciousness and pulling himself out of the him-shaped hole in the ground, and Pietro and Wanda quietly squealing, from what Tony supposes is happiness, on their side of the table.

“Where’s Loki?” Thor asks, mere moments late, lifting himself on an elbow. 

“Tessie and him are going on a date!” Pietro cheers. 

“They were so happy!” Wanda says.

“It’s true,” Rhodey says, “and the two of them were so bouncy about it that I can’t even be outraged.”

“Seconded.” Tony is resigned to second it. Denial is futile.

Thor, like the idiot he is, decides to deny it: “They are friends, yes? Nothing more?”

“Mhm, just friends, the same way Buck and Steve were friends,” Natasha says. 

“Ayyyyyy,” shawarma finished, Bruce decides to join in too.

“Hey! No!” Steve protests. Then, after a moment, “actually, I’m blanking on coming up with any differences, Bucky and he even have the same hair.”

“‘Just friends’ like ‘just friends’ in Budapest,” Clint says, giving Nat an exaggerated wink. 

Nat chuckles and winks back. 

No one can really say anything bad about Tesseract and Loki because they’ve seen them interacting, and, at the very least, they’re going to be supportive of the… friendship.... for Tesseract’s happiness.

Crazily enough, Tony is actually looking forward to having Loki around, even if he’s going to try and keep him away from Tesseract but knows it would never work. 

Sure, the man has some things to explain, but if an _Infinity Stone,_ one of the most powerful forces in the universe, is saying he’s okay, he trusts Tessie. 

Even if he’s apparently not allowed to call them that for dumb reasons. 

“ _Exactly_ like Budapest,” Natasha nods.

“Definitely made for each other,” Wanda adds.

“I wouldn’t trust anyone else with them,” Pietro confirms.

Thor looks between everyone’s agreeances with frantic confusion and growing… Bewilderment? Anguish? Fear? 

Mostly fear. 

_The kids are alright,_ Tony thinks, smiling as he eyes the matching handprints on Thor’s cheeks. 

Those two work well together, and, if nothing else, are happy. Tony can appreciate that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any errors I may have made or leave your thoughts on the one and only pairing that exists: Tesseroki


End file.
